noun – 1. the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.
verb – 1. undergo or cause to undergo a process or period of transition.
synonyms: change, passage, move, transformation, conversion, metamorphosis, alteration, handover, changeover.
This past week has been an emotional roller coaster for me as we are just 8 weeks away from meeting our little prince or princess. It’s becoming more & more difficult to rest at night due to the tossing & turning, having to empty my bladder every 3 hours or the most annoying non-stop itching on my arms & legs – which I find to be the worst of them all. Not only has it been physically overwhelming but also emotionally & mentally. I have a 9 year old son who I adore & who has taught me the true definition of unconditional love. If I can be honest, it hasn’t been easy for me when I think of how our family of 3 will soon become a family of 4. One of the worries I’ve had since the beginning of my pregnancy is, “Will my son feel like he’s been replaced? Or will he feel less important?” – I know those are silly questions to even ask but this is what occurs when I begin to overanalyze & worry so much about the what if’s. My husband & I have had conversations with our son plenty of times explaining how our love for him will NEVER change & he looks at us like – “Duhh!” – LOL!! Clearly, the one who’s buggin’ is ME! 😩
As I sat on my bed eating Lay’s chips & M&M’s (🙈 don’t judge me, lol), I kept reflecting on this journey I’ve been on for the past 32 weeks – highs & lows. I’ve experienced different stages that I don’t remember experiencing when I was pregnant with my son. Then it made me think about other journeys I’ve been on that were similar but different at the same time. And the word “transition” popped up in my mind. No matter how much we fight against the different stages of transition – most times it’s inevitable. We must be willing to roll with the punches because at the end of day there is so much to gain.
Many of us have a desire for different things – a new job/business venture, car, an apartment/house, a healthy lifestyle, investing in yourself (mind, body & spirit), education or whatever it may be for you – but we are willing to put in the work that’s needed. We either become uncomfortable when it requires us to do things we’ve never done or we become impatient in the process so we end up losing hope or going back to those old habits that have held us back for so long. My desire has been to be more consistent & self-disciplined in a lot of different areas. It has NOT been easy but it’s a desire of mine in order to reach the many different goals I believe God has placed in my heart but the one who continues to delay this process is ME!! I know what I need to do but I choose not to do it all the time. And when I do, I don’t give it my 100%. Why? Because I don’t make it a priority. I’m always telling myself how important it is, but is it really? Yes, it is – however, my actions show otherwise.
When we have a vision or goal in mind, we start off feeling confident, excited & taking the steps needed for us to see it come to pass BUT we become discouraged when it takes longer than expected or when “life” happens & things start to become difficult or we get distracted by other things. For instance, I’ve learned that I have a very short attention span & get easily distracted. I found a list I’m guilty of 100% –
- Can’t have fewer than 80 tabs open (okay that’s a bit too much but I would say about 7)
- Can’t watch a show without switching to a different one (unless it’s very interesting)
- Can’t get a new idea without completely abandoning my last idea (this is the worst — ughh!)
- Can’t go past a few pages without finding interest in another book
- Can’t go to the store without buying everything else EXCEPT the thing you came to buy (I’m sure MANY of us are guilty of this)
- Technology has made it that much harder to stay focused
- I begin to think of the process it will take to accomplish something & will lose interest all together
- It’s rare to complete a task without getting sidetracked
The struggle is REAL!!
But being consistent & self-disciplined is KEY! Just like in the pic below, we will go through different stages throughout our transition but we must choose to keep pressing our way through & keep the end goal in mind. I also believe we ought to embrace the journey. There’s so much to learn in the process which in turn makes us appreciate it that much more when we reach our destination. We will want to give up at times or even feel likes it’s pointless to keep trying but we cannot allow those thoughts to paralyze us & keep us stagnant. It always helps when you have someone that can hold you accountable but maybe you might not have someone you can count on. That’s ok. Sometimes God will remove people in our lives because they are not meant or even willing to go where we’re going or simply because He wants us to FULLY rely on Him.
When my last relationship ended, I was determined to invest in myself. Was it easy? No!! Did I feel hopeless at times? Yes! More often than not. But I didn’t give up nor allowed my thoughts or emotions to get the best of me for too long. I allowed myself to feel what needed to be felt but then I kept it moving. Now I have different goals that I’d like to pursue but I must be consistent & self-disciplined so when “life” happens, I won’t allow it to keep me from continuing to press my way through.
During one of our mentoring sessions, we assigned our mentees to create a vision board. We joined them & created our own. Mine is shown below & dated May 6, 2014. This was way before I even considered the thought of possibly working towards giving our family another chance with my now husband (at the time we were just friends & coparents). I was beginning to accept the reality that my ex & I would no longer be – ever again. BUT my desire was still to one day get engaged, married & have another child. I knew in order to see those things come to pass I had to take the time to invest in myself & make some changes so that I could be the best fiance, wife & mother.
If you look close – below “learning never stops” – one of my goals was to be an inspiration to others by sharing my thoughts & experiences as I hope to be doing now.
This has encouraged me to do what I know I need to do & work towards achieving my goals. No matter how difficult or uncomfortable it gets, I will choose to embrace the journey & the wonderful changes ahead because I owe it to myself. And you do too!
No Looking Back by Damita is one of the many songs that have encouraged me throughout my journey. I hope it does the same for you. Take a listen – click here.
Until next time, many blessings & much love! – XO