No matter how great someone’s relationship or marriage may look like on social media or in person, no relationship is perfect. We should never glorify someone’s relationship & lose sight on how blessed we are in our own relationship/marriage regardless of our shortcomings. For those that are in unhappy/unhealthy relationships or who may be single, I know how discouraging it can be sometimes to see other couples succeeding but I encourage you not to lose hope. Feeling discouraged doesn’t mean you’re jealous, envious or bitter – it just means what it means, “having lost confidence or enthusiasm; disheartened”.
One should never settle but often times we do because we aren’t willing to wait. You deserve to be with someone you trust & who will cherish you & vice versa. You deserve to be with someone who shares the same values as you & with pure intentions. I can go on & on but I’m sure you get what I’m trying to say.
Before I got married, I was single for a little over a year. I made it a point to date myself. I would go out to dinner, movies, shopping, go to Barnes & Noble & other different places by myself. I was doing things I enjoyed doing. I would journal a lot & pour my little heart out. It was my form of therapy. The more time I took for myself, the more I started appreciating my own company. Being single also allowed me to make some changes within myself if I wanted to someday get married & have a family.
Another important thing I noticed was I wasn’t really taking my relationship with God serious & that was starting to affect me emotionally, mentally & spiritually. I would put Him in this box & call out to Him when I needed Him but it doesn’t work that way. So, getting plugged into a church, reading the Bible, listening to different teachings on YouTube, & meeting other like minded people helped me understand the importance of having a relationship with Jesus & grow spiritually. Being single allowed me to make this a priority before jumping into another relationship. Find what’s important to you & make it a priority. You owe it to yourself.
I was a hot a mess but I would have never known that had I not embraced this season of my life. I had been in relationships since the age of 16. When I would reflect on my past relationships, I became aware that I was part of the cause of why the relationships continued to fail. I was not valuing myself in the way that I should have so why should I have expected anyone to value me?! Am I saying I’m perfect now? Absolutely not. Now that I am married I still have to make it a point to evaluate myself & see where I need to improve & the same goes for my marriage.
Marriage is hard work & maybe I will share the challenges we have experienced on a future post because it’s not always peaches & cream as I am sure many married couples will agree. We can fall victim to comparing our marriage to others if we’re not careful but there’s no reason why we should. We are all different & what may work for us may not work for other couples. And that’s OK!
If you are single & you have been embracing this season, continue to embrace it & do not lose hope. No matter how long it takes – trust the process. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s better to wait patiently for the right one than to rush into a relationship that might not benefit you in the long run.
Other couple’s #RelationshipGoals are awesome to witness & be inspired by but we may not all have the same goals nor will we achieve them in the same way.
Allow your own goals & ways in achieving them be the main goal in your relationship!