When you feel like giving up!

Ever felt like throwing in the towel?! Ever felt tired of fighting?! Ever felt like your faith & hope in God was literally hanging from a thread & all you wanted to do was give up?!

As I shared on my previous post, 2019 was by far the most challenging year I’ve had & not a day went by that I didn’t wake up feeling anxious, tired & defeated. Every day felt like it was on repeat.

Everyday consisted of waking up at 6am to prepare a bottle of milk for my 2 yr old before I got myself ready for the day, make sure my oldest was up & out the door by 8am, I would drop the baby off at the sitter while Edison dropped our oldest son off at school & I would head to work. I would wait for my oldest to walk to my job from school, go on my lunch break at 3pm, pick up the baby at the sitter & stop to get them something to eat before dropping them both off to my grandmother. There goes my hour of lunch only to get out of work at 7pm, 8pm or even 9pm sometimes. Once I got home, I was lucky if I had 10 mins in the shower with zero interruptions. It would be around 11pm by the time I finally hit the bed & do it all over again the very next day.

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“Take me deeper, Lord!”

I came across this song today on my playlist & I was reminded of the day I heard it for the first time. I had this song on repeat for 2 days straight because I resonated with it so much. That same day I had taken some time to journal & I remember telling God, “Take me deeper, Lord.” I desired to know Him deeply & intimately. I felt as though I had only known Him on a surface level but I wanted to go deeper. Mannnnn, I didn’t realize how bold of a statement that was when I made it.

I was anticipating for 2019 to be an amazing year despite how 2018 ended but instead it was the most challenging year thus far. It wasn’t until recently that I felt a shift finally take place in my mind, my heart & in my spirit.

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Transformation 🌻🙌

Sometimes Facebook will remind you of some great memories & other times not so great. 2010 was a year full of hurt, emptiness, insecurity, confusion & brokenness. This picture is a reflection of that. Behind that pose, little dress 🙈 & fake smile was a lost soul who was crying out for help. I was engaged but yet entertaining another man. I would care after my son all week & I would go out to dance & drink about every other weekend. It was my definition of being free & having fun. 😣 I had been lied to & cheated on prior to this & I just became heartless. 💔

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How much longer?

How much longer until I finally get a break? How much longer until I find someone I can build a future with? How much longer until my heart finally heals? How much longer until I find a job? How much longer until the person I love & care for will make the decision to do right for them? How much longer until I see the desires of my heart come to pass?

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Settling for less than God’s best!

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As I was on my way home from work today, I was reflecting on my life these days. I was debating on whether or not I should pull over to make a video or just wait to get home to post on my blog. In the midst of it, one of my close friends who I love dearly messaged me & I felt led to share my thoughts with her. After she listened to my message on WhatsApp, she shared what a blessing it was to her & I give God all of the glory. If you believe this post blesses you, please don’t hold back from sharing it with others who could possibly be blessed by it too.

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May you receive what you’ve been praying for.

This morning, my husband posted this quote below –

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I couldn’t help but reply with what I believe to be true because sometimes we get our own hopes up about things that are not even part of God’s plans & then get mad at Him when it doesn’t come to pass. I believe God hears ALL of our prayers – even the ones that are embedded in our hearts but we can’t find the words to say out loud. However, He only answers according to His will, not our own & at His perfect timing. Sometimes His answer is, “Yes”, “No” or “Not Yet” but regardless of what His answer is, we must always ask for His will to be done, not ours. As I commented, I was listening to My Testimony by Marvin Sapp on Pandora & I was encouraged to share one of mine.

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There is STILL hope …

Have you ever found yourself desperate to be saved from a situation you can’t seem to get out of? No matter how much you kick & scream. No matter how much you pray. No matter how many people are praying for you. It just seems like the light at the end of the tunnel seems further & further. Maybe you’re struggling to make ends meet. Maybe you lost a loved one, friend, family member, or a child. Maybe you just received unexpected news. Maybe you’ve fallen into a depression & you have no strength to keep fighting. Maybe you’re going through heartbreak & you’re desperately waiting for the day you can wake up without anxiety or that emptiness in your heart that makes you want to stay in bed all day/night or the kind of pain that you can feel at your fingertips. Maybe you’re not where you thought you’d be by now. I get it. I really do! I’ve been there too & still experience all types of trials & tribulations. These words are to encourage me also!

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