“Take me deeper, Lord!”

I came across this song today on my playlist & I was reminded of the day I heard it for the first time. I had this song on repeat for 2 days straight because I resonated with it so much. That same day I had taken some time to journal & I remember telling God, “Take me deeper, Lord.” I desired to know Him deeply & intimately. I felt as though I had only known Him on a surface level but I wanted to go deeper. Mannnnn, I didn’t realize how bold of a statement that was when I made it.

I was anticipating for 2019 to be an amazing year despite how 2018 ended but instead it was the most challenging year thus far. It wasn’t until recently that I felt a shift finally take place in my mind, my heart & in my spirit.

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But I “love” him.

As I’ve mentioned many times in the past, I was in a relationship with my ex for almost 5 years. A year into the relationship he lied about being at his sister’s house. The truth was that he was at a “strip club”. Who knows!?! There was no need for him to lie unless he had something to hide (obviously). I didn’t forgive him right away but eventually I let it go because I “loved” him. As women (as some men do as well), we overlook many of the red flags that are being presented to us early on in the relationship only to set ourselves up for failure in the long run.

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